just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
