Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
