so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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