grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
