You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
