make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize