So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
