Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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