i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
