I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
