I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
