its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
