I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
