I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
