come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
