If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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