All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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