I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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