What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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