I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
