no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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