If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I would fuck him just for his dog
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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