that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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