At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
