spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
