There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
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