Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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