Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
