My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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