I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize