i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
