sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
