I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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