When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
lets start a swedish sibling band together
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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