Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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