I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
