Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
