guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my being single is dangerous.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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