when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
