What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
