we're blogging at a bar
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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