Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
