Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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