This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
