Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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