they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can't turn off my feet"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
