u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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