life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize