That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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