porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
