she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
