he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
