Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
