sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
