so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
