3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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