i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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