I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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