Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We left the knife in your bed.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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