I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she told me i tasted like america
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize