ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
