I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
