It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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