areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
What did we do last night that was yellow?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
