I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
